Healing and Hungry: A Season of Transitions

Hi friends!

It’s been awhile and so much has changed in the past month.

It has been a month full of transitions and I wanted to experience them before sitting down and writing how the process went.

First off, I was discharged from IOP (intensive outpatient program)!!!!

WOOOHOOOO!

It was such a bittersweet moment. I grew so much in that space and created so many important relationships. The providers that helped me will always have a special place in my heart. They were such a vital part of my recovery journey. They were put in my life for a short amount of time but made such a big and lasting impression on me.

I was very nervous after I was discharged. I wasn’t sure exactly how my recovery would mesh with my day to day life.

I had so much freedom.

As recommended by my team, I got an outpatient dietitian, therapist and psych nurse practitioner. These three people will play such an important role in my transition and help me manage recovery in the out-patient setting. They will help me through bumps in the road and be an extra support system for me.

I was also very nervous to go back to work.

I hadn’t been to work since February 22nd. I was practically off for three months.

I was also switching to a day shift position, which is much busier than night shift, and I was worried I wouldn’t be able to complete my meal plan at work. My meal plan that I have to follow right now consists of a lot of snacks and my fear was that I wouldn’t be able to fit them all in during my work day.

My mind naturally filled itself with a bunch of “what if’s”.

I am pleased to say that it has been such an amazing transition.

I have had such an overwhelming amount of support coming back to work and was greeted with the kindest words.

If any of you are reading this: Thank you so so much for welcoming me back with the biggest smile. It has meant the world to me.

I feel silly sometimes in the morning looking at my pantry and trying to count out how many snacks I need to bring for my work day. I also feel silly drinking a Boost Supplement while charting at work.

But in all those moments that I feel a little silly, I also feel very grateful.

I feel so grateful to be standing on the other side of an eating disorder that was eating me alive.

I feel so grateful to feel energized and happy.

I feel so grateful that I got the opportunity to go through treatment, when many are unable to.

Discharging from IOP and returning to work have been such amazing accomplishments for me this past month. It’s moments like these that make me want to fight even harder.

Recovery is so hard. And it’s even harder during transition periods in one's life. But I want to encourage any of you that are going through this that although there are hard moments and scary thoughts, the freedom from food you gain is truly invigorating.

Most life transitions will feel like being on a boat in rough waters. Most times it will also feel easier to jump out of that boat and return to shore. But I encourage you to brave the rough waters because calmer ones are yet to come.

SONG FOR POST: Rise Up by Andra Day